EX-marx the spot

I can't believe that after everything I have gone through with all of my relationships my biggest problem is that i always seem to go back to my ex
Never can I just go out and meet a nice guy. Nope, not this chick right here, I always gotta go back to someone that I've been with before. I have probably been out with each of my bf more than once
or at least the ones that I really care about.
not the guys that I was with for like a day or 2.
This is really starting to get on my nerves because I never get out of this dumb ass cycle. I want to just go out with the girls one day and just have fun, and we all look really nice and pick up guys but nope....not me.
I don't have any damn female friends anyway so that just won't even work.
I hate this
really gets under my skin....like just now I asked my ex did he wanna hang out he says he got stuff to do so I hang with the bf and a friend,. bored like crazy then the ex says sure I told my ppl that i was chilling with my boo so they can't come over now I'm stuck out no where land, bored like shit and I have nothing to do.......I wish that I was with my ex cuz he always find something to do and we never just watch other ppl play video games :(
I so with that I would find a guy that had everything that I've ever wanted plus more so i don't have to be caught up in between things that are going to confuse me :(

JXJ

So, I made this blog mostly just to have a blog that is separate from my beauty one...the problem is that I don't have the money for new supplies and things like that. There isn't much for me to talk or reveiw about and anything that I show would be really old. So I made the blog for my #2
He keeps me grounded every once in a while and I love him for it. He knows who he is... the problem is that no one reads this blog...well no one reads the other one either but I have a better chance to get ppl to read that one. This is the one I write in when I don't want anyone to see but then know that I'm having like "half" the balls to still put it all online.
I just wanted him to know that his summer rain is still here if ever he needs a shoulder <3

My Horrible Day

So my day was terrible. I woke up this afternoon. Yes this afternoon because I'm a dead beat with no job, and one day my mom is going to kick me.
But the point is I woke up and had a growth on my arm...yes in my arm pit.
It wasn't nice... It was the size of my fist.
It hurt like crazy. But not only that no one was home.
I called my mommy because I'm a 20 year old baby...and she said to go to the Emergency Room. Did I ever mention that I don't have a car anymore? I don't so yeah, I called around until I found someone that could take me and i went.
It was craziness.
I got there and I was in the waiting room forever...but once they took my vitals the nurse said that I would have to wait for a room. She literally came out as soon as my friend and I found seats.
So that was awesome... but then it took them forever to even come back to me long story short i was in there forever...but for this hospital...which I've been to before...wasn't that long.
I got there at like 1 and left around 6.

Jumping to the procedure
The doctor gave me an injection to numb the pain... he said that he was going to wait a minute or two for it to kick in and never did. Jumped right into cutting my arm open...Did I mention that I could feel the whole thing? Because I could and I was about to punch him in the face...literally. I flinched so bad...then the whole time he was just being an ass whole. I mean it was like the kid from Hancock who was calling him an ass whole.(that lighten the mood but not enough)
I was so pissed off you don't know. And my boyfriend couldn't be there because he had to go see him nephew i the other hospital on the other side of town. Then by the time he took the bus back to my house his mother came to get him and told him he had to go because she wanted to take him some where.

I was crying like a little baby
I really just wanted to see him. I just wanted to sit with him all day. i felt like crap. my arm hurts and when I saw my mommy I was like 12 again. Then mommy had to change the gauze because I wasn't touching it.
But now i can't really put my hand down without it feeling weird...

WELL..ta ta for now