Kakashi-Sensei

Okay, So I don't even know where to begin.
The guy that I call Kakashi-sensei is the man t hat I love. I don't think that I should, but for some fucking reason, that no one wants to share with me i jst do. He means every fucking thing to me. The problem is he probably doesn't know that i exsist....
Okay not in that creepy stralker way. I see him in the halls and i just pine for him. No, none of that
way worse actually. We've dated and on occasion we fuck, and the terrible part is that is the best part of my life. The time that i spend with him is something so precious to me, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Someone could offer me a million dollars to never see him again and i'd tell them they have to be the stupidest perosn ever to land on this planet.

The struggle is that he feeds me this false hope that i feel as though means nothing
It means nothing to me, but everything to me, so i have to believe that it's real. I have to believe that he willl want me the way I want him. Or maybe he will give me the chance to make him happy because he knows that no one else will give him that attention they way that i will
and as i'm writing this i'm crying my eyes out, and i have the worst cry face ever, but i'm only writing this tidbit in the hopes that when i come back and read this i will laugh.

   Sad i know. Sorry for being so damn bad at things like this.
All I've every wanted is to find that prince to be in my fairy tale and i've foind in. I found him six years ago, but for some reason he doens't feel the same way. i thought they other was always supposed to love you. Damn fairy tales lie. I'm never goin to tell my kid a fairly tale. I don't want my kisd to feel this pain, the way i feel it.

      I dont understand how I can be in such a situation. I don't understand how this can be happening to me and speak of the devil....we talk about nothing for 7 min...and now i'm back to writing

I have a boyfriend. Tyler. I love him. All of my friends tell me other wise though. They know me better than i knoe myself apparently, but i refuse to be told that i don't love tyler. The problem is that sometimes when i'm alone and i try to tell myself that i love tyler, i don't always believe myself.
I kills me to know, so i guess i should break it off so he can find happiness with the right girl, but i stay because he makes me happy on the inside.
I probably make him one misrebl person


           I guess the moral of the story is don't be like me. Do what makes you happy and when you get something good, hold on real tight. but not too tight, you might just pop the damn head off

I know that didn't make sense because i didn't go into detail, but thats because I didn't want this post to be that long. trust me i could go on for pages about him, but that wouldn't mean anything because not too many people know about this blog, and by not too many, i mean only 2 ppl know i even made another  blog in the first place.

well thats all for now i guess

his Sakura
Keita </3

IDK

I don't know why i have this blog. I hav elike 3 blogs for no reason at all. I just have this one as a little joke between a friend but i don't think that he even gets on here. i donb't know what to ever say on here. I wonder if he thinks about me the way I think about him. I will never understand myself i know that much. i need to just go and get off of here. M ight be deleting this blog in a few

EX-marx the spot

I can't believe that after everything I have gone through with all of my relationships my biggest problem is that i always seem to go back to my ex
Never can I just go out and meet a nice guy. Nope, not this chick right here, I always gotta go back to someone that I've been with before. I have probably been out with each of my bf more than once
or at least the ones that I really care about.
not the guys that I was with for like a day or 2.
This is really starting to get on my nerves because I never get out of this dumb ass cycle. I want to just go out with the girls one day and just have fun, and we all look really nice and pick up guys but nope....not me.
I don't have any damn female friends anyway so that just won't even work.
I hate this
really gets under my skin....like just now I asked my ex did he wanna hang out he says he got stuff to do so I hang with the bf and a friend,. bored like crazy then the ex says sure I told my ppl that i was chilling with my boo so they can't come over now I'm stuck out no where land, bored like shit and I have nothing to do.......I wish that I was with my ex cuz he always find something to do and we never just watch other ppl play video games :(
I so with that I would find a guy that had everything that I've ever wanted plus more so i don't have to be caught up in between things that are going to confuse me :(

JXJ

So, I made this blog mostly just to have a blog that is separate from my beauty one...the problem is that I don't have the money for new supplies and things like that. There isn't much for me to talk or reveiw about and anything that I show would be really old. So I made the blog for my #2
He keeps me grounded every once in a while and I love him for it. He knows who he is... the problem is that no one reads this blog...well no one reads the other one either but I have a better chance to get ppl to read that one. This is the one I write in when I don't want anyone to see but then know that I'm having like "half" the balls to still put it all online.
I just wanted him to know that his summer rain is still here if ever he needs a shoulder <3

Moving!!!!!

So I'm going to be moving in a week.
Sadly not out of my moms house but my mother bought a house for the first time we shall be moving
The fun part is I can do whatever I want to my room
the not-so-fun part is that I have to do it all

I pulled up the old carpet, we knock out a couple cabinets and walls and things...but we have been getting tired and lazy and then the move out date from this house has changed so now its crunch time. I don't have a camera so I have no before pix, I think my mom has some.

But we are moving to lots of store and the bus line so I will have a job asap.
The Burger King is hiring with open interviews on Monday so......<3
Hopefully I get a job there if not we will be hustling that whole week

But the point is I will buy a camera and then there will be after pix for sure
even if you gotta wait ill April for me to do a room tour.
OH!!! BTW when I get said camera I hope that I'll be able to start my YouTube channel.
winterxj9 <3

Wondering why a girl like Me tries.

Y do things hav 2 b so hard. I cant mak a decision :<

Everyone needs to check out the movie Tamara. Youtube it!!

Just got my mobile working again. Now i can blog On the go. Yay!!!

slacking...

the whole idea of this blog is to tell you about the times I have when I'm with my friends and when i travel hense the name Winters mobile life...check out my main blog WinterWonders @ winterxj9.blogspot.com
but...yeah,, so I haven't been traveling at all like I thought I was but I have been hanging out with my friends a lot more lately...the only thing i can really remember is my friend getting drunk and making me want to kill him, and my other friend just being extra sexy for no reason...I wanted to rape him, but that would've been al kinds of illegal
besides, we might have jacked out relationship up and made it extra awkward so...nope
but i'm trying to go to the other side of maryland really soon
not that a travel to most ppl but i never go anywhere so i'm looking forward to it
maybe if saaammage has a meet and greet pr something
check out her blog and her yotube
she is an awesome guru <3
well just wanted to check in on the ppl that stay main to this blog
<3 loves

My Horrible Day

So my day was terrible. I woke up this afternoon. Yes this afternoon because I'm a dead beat with no job, and one day my mom is going to kick me.
But the point is I woke up and had a growth on my arm...yes in my arm pit.
It wasn't nice... It was the size of my fist.
It hurt like crazy. But not only that no one was home.
I called my mommy because I'm a 20 year old baby...and she said to go to the Emergency Room. Did I ever mention that I don't have a car anymore? I don't so yeah, I called around until I found someone that could take me and i went.
It was craziness.
I got there and I was in the waiting room forever...but once they took my vitals the nurse said that I would have to wait for a room. She literally came out as soon as my friend and I found seats.
So that was awesome... but then it took them forever to even come back to me long story short i was in there forever...but for this hospital...which I've been to before...wasn't that long.
I got there at like 1 and left around 6.

Jumping to the procedure
The doctor gave me an injection to numb the pain... he said that he was going to wait a minute or two for it to kick in and never did. Jumped right into cutting my arm open...Did I mention that I could feel the whole thing? Because I could and I was about to punch him in the face...literally. I flinched so bad...then the whole time he was just being an ass whole. I mean it was like the kid from Hancock who was calling him an ass whole.(that lighten the mood but not enough)
I was so pissed off you don't know. And my boyfriend couldn't be there because he had to go see him nephew i the other hospital on the other side of town. Then by the time he took the bus back to my house his mother came to get him and told him he had to go because she wanted to take him some where.

I was crying like a little baby
I really just wanted to see him. I just wanted to sit with him all day. i felt like crap. my arm hurts and when I saw my mommy I was like 12 again. Then mommy had to change the gauze because I wasn't touching it.
But now i can't really put my hand down without it feeling weird...

WELL..ta ta for now

Will this send?